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Posted by on Aug 23, 2016 in Tell me a joke, Tell me a joke Mom | 1 comment

Tell me a joke Mom

I am actually fed up with the work pressure of moving here and there. Can you tell me a joke Mom which will make me enthusiastic and laugh out loudly? Of course Yes, you are in the right place to get stuffs to laugh out loudly as you are looking for. Laughing has a lot of health benefits which you might be aware of. Hence have a look at Tell me a joke Mom and I am sure you cannot stop laughing.

β€œIt will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.”

― G.K. Chesterton

Can you tell me a joke Mom?

When I was young, I used to eat a lot because my parents told me that fat kids are harder to kidnap.

Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, “Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town.” The old man says, “We’re from Nebraska.” Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, “What did he say, papa?” The old man answers her, “He asked us where we are from.” “Oh,” replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that’s all done, the attendant tells the old man, “You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska.” The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, “What did he say, papa?” The husband replies, “He thinks he knows you, mama.”

A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

A father is having dinner with his son and says, “Son tell me a lie,” and the son says, “Dad.”

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, “I hate my mother-in-law.” The other replies, “Well, just eat your noodles, then.”

Q: What do you call the child of parents from Iceland and Cuba?
A: An ice cube.

I went to my sisters house and saw her packing a suitcase. I asked, “What’s going on?” She said, “I’m feeling homesick.” I suggested, “But you’re at your home now.” She replied, “I know. I’m sick of it!”

Tell me a joke mom

Now tell me a joke of my kind mom

Son: “Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool.”
Father: “Okay, give him a glass of water.”

Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!

Ben: “Dad, there is a hole in my shoe.”
Dad: “Yes, Ben, that’s where you put your foot.”

I’m tired of my grandma! Whenever someone’s wedding comes up, she says, “Next is your turn.” So I’ve decided when someone dies I’m going to say, “Next is your turn, grandma.”

Your aunt is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

Your mom is so fat and old when God said, “Let there be light,” he asked your mother to move out of the way.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy’s turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Tell me a joke

It is very funny to tell me a joke Mom

Q: How do Chinese people name their babies?
A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.

Your sister is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Your mamma is so fat she doesn’t need the internet, because she’s already world wide.

How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”

Tell me a joke of your favourite stuffs mom

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.

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1 Comment

  1. The paragon of understanding these issues is right here!

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