Clean Joke of the Day to Laugh Out Loud
Laughing is something good for the physical and mental wellness. Such a precious treatment could be achieved by reading this kind of funniest jokes. The sense of humor progresses so does the fun. Laugh out loud with these funny stuff such as jokes, riddles may suddenly seem hilarious. Here is the Clean Joke of the Day providing for one who visits daily with a huge collection of jokes.
Tell Me A Joke is a fun website with full of jokes. You can find Short Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hilarious Jokes, Kids Jokes, Love Jokes, Non-Veg Jokes, One Liner Jokes and Jokes in Other Languages. Tellmeajokes.com is the best place to have fun.
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Clean Joke to laugh out
Daddy reads some bedtime stories to make little Jonny fall asleep.
Half an hour later mommy opens quietly the door and asks: “And, is he asleep?”
Little Jonny answers: “Yes, finally.”
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.”
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.” The horse says, “Me neither!”
A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, “You know there are only nine words here? You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!”
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says “I think we got this joke wrong”
A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
A man wrote a letter to one of the Chicago hotels he planned to stay at while on vacation: “I would like to bring my dog with me. He is well behaved and well-groomed. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room?”
The hotel owner replied, saying, “I’ve been operating hotels for thirty years. I’ve never had a dog steal bedclothes, towels, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to kick a dog out in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a dog skip out on a hotel bill. So, yes, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay, too.”
“Ok everyone,” said the the instructor at the birthing class trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.” “We have here what’s called a pregnancy suit,” said the woman instructor, holding up an artificial stomach with a strap. “This imitates the feeling of being pregnant.” Which Husband volunteers to be the first one to try it on?” “I will” said one man, taking the suit and trying it on. “This isn’t too bad said the man walking around. I think I could get used to this.” “Ok”, said the instructor smiling, “now I would like you to bend down and pick up my pen from the floor.” “You want me to pick it up?” he said hesitantly, “just as I would if I was pregnant?” “Yes!” said the instructor. “Honey,” said the man turning to his spouse “do you mind picking up that pen for me?”
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Clean Joke of the Day
A German man walks up to the immigration desk at Warsaw airport. The immigration officer asks: ‘Occupation?’
The German replies: ‘No, just a holiday.’
Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9.
A computer programmer was going to the store. His wife said “Dear, would you buy a gallon of milk? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer came back with a dozen gallons of milk and said, “They had eggs.” –It’s really only funny if you’re a programmer. 8OD
Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, “Hey, you just stole an electron from me!”
“Are you sure?” asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, “Yeah, I’m positive!”
Elderly irishman trying to recapture his youth buys a flash sports car and takes it out for a spin. At 140mph he checks his rear view mirror and sees a police car charging up on him, blues and two flashing. I’m too old for this he thinks, so pulls over. Cop walks up to him, “hey, I’ve got 10 minutes left on my shift and I don’t need three hours of paperwork because of you. Give me a good reason why you were going at 140mph”. Well officer says Paddy, “it’s like this, my wife ran off with a cop 30 years ago and I thought you were bringing her back”. Sounds reasonable says the cop, on your way
A scientist is testing how far a frog can jump. He places the frog down and yells, “JUMP!” The frog jumps 12 feet. Then the scientist cuts off one of the frog’s legs and runs the test again. “JUMP!” The frog jumps 6 feet. He cuts off the second leg, places the frog down and yells, “JUMP!” The frog goes nowhere. Conclusion: when both of frog’s legs are cut off, frog cannot hear.
Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st? A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry. When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.
“Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.
“Uh, Reverend, I’ve changed my mind,” the groom responded. “I think I would prefer the traditional service.”
What is the tallest building in the world?
The library! Because it has the most stories!
🙂 😀 🙂
There are two muffins in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other muffin and says, “Boy, it’s hot in here.”
The other muffin says, “OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN.”
Three seniors are out for a stroll.
One of them remarks, “It’s windy.”
Another replies, “No way. It’s Thursday.”
The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have a soda.”
A man and his wife are setting up their new computer. When it comes time to pick the password, he types in “my_brain” but the computer rejects it. His wife says “I told you it was too small.”
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on.
Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block
If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.
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