Funny Joke of the Day | Hilarious Jokes

Funny Joke of the day is a thing which someone says at a cause to make amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline. It may also able to deal with the lots of remarks and tricks without becoming angry or offended. Funny jokes or hilarious short jokes can indicate that one who is being serious, especially after making such extreme funny jokes will definitely laugh out loud. So, here is the Funny Joke of the Day to get rid of the worries.

Funny Joke of the Day

Funny Joke of the Day

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Funny Jokes

Funny Joke of the Day

Funny Joke of the Day

Q: Why did the archaeologist’s wife divorce him?
A: Because he was carbon dating.

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples’.

Conservatives are criticizing Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. On the plus side, Obama’s now polling very well among cats.

Art of communication. A shopkeeper worried when a business like his opened next door with a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when a competitor opened on his right, with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper got an idea. he put the highest sign over his shop. It read… MAIN ENTRANCE.

The President of Coca Cola makes a phone call to Russian President Vladimir Putin:
– Vladimir, I have noticed that you have changed Russian anthem, do you have any plans to change the flag as well – return to the previous purely red flag? If you would put our Coca-Cola trademark in a corner, we would solve all your problems with pensions, salaries of officials for couple years ahead…
Vladimir puts the call on hold and asks his colleague:
– Hey, when our contract with Aqua Fresh ends?

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

The mother who injected her 8 year-old child with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.

Her daughter didn’t look surprised.

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Funny Joke of the Day

Funny Joke of the Day

Funny Joke of the Day

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple!

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me.”

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher asked, ‘Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude . . .?’
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, ‘I guess you’d be eating alone.’

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, son.Why?
Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!

My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.

My younger sister came up to me the other day and said that God must love silly
people. When I asked her why she said ‘Well, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have
made so many of them would he?’

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To hunt somebody down.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The chicken.

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Ben: How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?
Jerry: I dunno.
Ben: It was way past its threadtime!

What did the ground say to the earthquake? — You crack me up!

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge HEART covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When confronted later, he said: “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral…I’m a gynecologist.”
At that point, the proctologist fainted.
A careers advisor went to a school and asked a student, “What do you want to do when you leave here?”

The student replied, “A gynecologist or a train driver.” The career advisor was so baffled by this that she said, “Train driver and gynecologist? That’s quite a gap, don’t you think?” By That the student replied, “Well… at the end of the day… I guess I just like tunnels.”

Son came to his father’s office — Son : Dad, I was passing by this way, just came here to say you ‘hello’. Dad : No benefit, a few minutes earlier your mom came here

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

What? Is A Difference Between
A Kiss, A Car And A Monkey?
A Kiss Is So Dear,?
A Car Is Too Dear And
A Monkey Is U Dear.

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