Non Veg Jokes | The Indian Version | Jokes
Non Veg Jokes are an Indian version of jokes dealing with double meaning language between couples and having a hint of sexual relations. All these are related to the carnal features of humans and one would say that a non-veg or carnivorous which is person’s delight. So, here is the Non-Veg Jokes to have a pleasant and enjoyed by reading it and also share with your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband.
Tell Me A Joke is a fun website with full of jokes. You can find Short Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hilarious Jokes, Kids Jokes, Love Jokes, Non-Veg Jokes, One Liner Jokes and Jokes in Other Languages. Tellmeajokes.com is the best place to have fun.
Double Meaning Jokes
The wife keeps quiet and keeps walking…😕
At night the husband asks for sex..😎
Wife – Sorry Darling..I cant start d washing machine for such a small load !!
Why don’t you do a hand wash!!!!!
Boy: I’ll pay you 100 Rs to climb up the flag pole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flag pole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 100 Rs to climb the flag pole.
Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
(Same boy): I’ll pay you 200 Rs to climb the flag pole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 200 Rs for climbing the flag pole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn’t wearing underwear.
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Girl goes TO repair umbrella. Umbrella man says:- Upper cloth has to be removed and rod has to b inserted. Girl says:- Do any thing but water shouldn’t go in !!!
Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad….
NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
After BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING.
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
I’m watching a sexy video of a girl/guy who looks just like you *link it to an explicit video with a really attractive person so your lover would be flattered*.
5 Frogs Sitting On A Log. 4 Decide To Jump Off. How Many Are Left? Still 5 Left Moral- Lot Of Difference Between Deciding And Doing.
Two guys over a drink at the bar.
Chump: You know, I’ve never really understood what a dilemma is…”
Chucky: Let me give you an example. Imagine you wake up in a bed with two people next to you. To your left is an incredibly beautiful woman willing to have you, and to your right is a very horny gay man.”
Chump: So where’s the dilemma?”
Chucky: To whom do you turn your back?”
Banta went to the doctor with a swollen foot. After careful examination, the doctor gave him a huge pill.
“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor said.
The doctor was gone quite a while and eventually Banta lost his patience. He hobbled to the sink, forced the huge pill down, slurped water from the sink until the pill cleared his throat, and then hobbled back onto the examining table.
You May Also Like: Non-Veg Jokes in Hindi for WhatsApp
In walks the doctor with a bucket of warm water and Ssid, “Okay, once the tablet has dissolved, soak your foot in it for at least a half hour.”
She Is Sweet
She Always Need A Lip for Kiss
Whole World Mad for Her!
Who Is She?
Do U Know?
Chai Piyo, Mast
A Couple In Train
Girl- My Hand Is Paining,
Boy Kisses The Hand,
Girl- My Neck Is Paining,
Boy Kisses The Neck,
An Old Man Asks Boy,
Son, Do U Also Treat Piles.A: “I was born in India.”B: “Which part?”A: “All of me.”
This Little Old Lady Was Trying To Rent A Apartment. She Just Had One Problem. She Had Two Pets: A Jackass Donkey And A Pussy Cat.After Haggling With A Landlord He Lets Her Move In. Over The Next Couple Of Weeks The Donkey Kept Eating All The Grass In The Complex And The Cat Kept Knocking Over Plants.The Lanlord, Finally Upset With The Little Old Lady For Not Controlling Her Pets Told Her “The Next Time The Donkey Eats Any Of The Grass I’M Kicking It’S Ass Out In The Road, And If That Cat Knock Over Any More Plants I Will Rip All The Hair Out Of It”.Well The Lanlord Finally Carried Out His Words And The Little Old Lady Took Her Lanlord To Court. The Judge Looks At The Little Old Lady And Asked “What Exactly Did Your Lanlord Do To You?”To Which She Replied, “For Starters, He Ripped All The Hair Out Of My Pussy And Kicked My Ass Out Into The Road”
A young girl came back to Doctor and complained, “Doctor, last time you did my abortion, you forgot your sharp blade inside of me,” Doctor “Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?” Girl, “No but my eight friends went impotent, ten of them lost their fingers, and four of them went dumb.
Time has come when watching a condom’s ad with elders in family i more comfortable than watching a deodrant ad with them…!!!
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”
A judge charged 10,800 fine to a man,when asked why 10,800 judge replied 10,000 for rape and 8% entertainment tax.
A harami is someone who visits a medical store instead of an ice cream parlour when his girlfriend says…..
” I love strawberry flavour”😜😂
A chutiya is someone who visits an ice cream parlour instead of a medical store when his girlfriend says…..
” I love strawberry flavour”😜😂
On 1st NIGHT Husb- ” Darling, comes lets hav Sex…” WIFE-“No Sorry, I hav Promised my Mom that i will leave this Bad work after marriage…
A Million Dollar Advice From William Sexfear
Before Making Any Promise To A Girl, Masturbate Twice, It May Change Your Opinion.
Banta Went for Divorce
Judge: You have 3 Kids
How Will you Divide Them?
Banta Thinks Hard & Says,
‘Oye.. IDEA, We’ll Come Next Year With 1 More
The first month, the boss gave his good-looking secretary a frock as an incentive.
And in the second month, he “raised” the incentive!
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
Tip of the day:
Ignore your problems like you ignore the male actor in a porn movie.
A push up bra is like a bag of chips. You open it and its half empty
Ultimate Abuse Of Boy-Friend And Girl-Friend.
Boy-Friend: “Shut Up You Bitch, Your Pussy Has Been Used More Than Google”
Girl-Friend: “Don’t Talk, You Asshole, I Wear Heels Longer Than Your Dick“!
A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: “This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth…!”
5 sardars were caught in a RAPE CASE,
They were called for an Identification parade.
When the girl arrived,all SARDARS shouted together..”YEHI THI !!!
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk.
“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, thenheld it out teasingly.The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.
“Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.
You May Also Like: Tell me a joke dude
Hope you enjoyed the Non-Veg Jokes posted here.
For any doubts, feel free to comment below.