Short Jokes To Laugh Out Loud | Shortest Jokes
Short jokes: In this busy world, some people may not be interested to read a long joke, no matter how funny it is. So for that kind of people, there are many short jokes that too even in one-line to make them laugh out loud hilariously. Here is the collection of funny jokes and Short jokes which will make you laugh out loudly. Laughing at least once in a while is something good for the physical and mental wellness of a human being. Such a precious treatment could be achieved by reading this kind of funny and hilarious jokes. Get ready to explore and laugh until you are fed up with it.
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Shortest jokes to laugh out
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?”
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me.”
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. “Och, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!”
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there’s no domestic violence going on.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
He didn’t count with this…
How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
It’s when the blind try to read your face.
Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely?
A. Playing Frisbee.
After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
See also: Funny Jokes
Funny and Short Jokes for Adults
Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it?
I’ve no home, I haven’t got control, I can’t see any escape. Way past the time I got a new keyboard.
What would you call a very funny mountain?
How do you tell that a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Doctor says to his patient:
“You have Cancer and Alzheimer.”
Patient: “At least I don’t have Cancer.”
Little Johnny asks his father:
“Where does the wind come from?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why do dogs bark?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why is the earth round?”
“I don’t know.”
“Does it disturb you that I ask so much?”
“No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything.”
Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish. The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted. The third guy says, “It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted.
They threw me out of the cinema today for bringing my own food. But come on – the prices are way too high, plus I haven’t had a barbecue in months.
I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.
We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was “Michael”.
“How much do the potatoes cost?”
“And the bag?”
“The bag is free.”
“Ok, give me the bag.”
Dentist: “You need a crown.”
Patient: “Finally someone who understands me”
“Grandpa, why don’t you have any life insurance?”
“So you can all be really sad when I die.”
A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some and, munching, asks her why she isn’t having any herself.
“Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.”
“Why buy them at all then?” wonders the driver.
“You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
I’m certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.
Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
Woman: Yeah, sure!
Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!
Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can buy you a jet-ski. It is impossible to be sad when you’re riding on the jet-ski.
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Latest Short jokes
Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.
What do you get if you crossbreed a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.
What do you get when you cross-breed a cow and a shark?
I don’t know, but I wouldn’t enjoy milking it.
“Honey, why did you build the child’s bed so high?” – “We can hear it better if he falls out.”
Doctor: “Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. ”
“But doctor, I am already 80!”
“You see – I told you to quit smoking.”
‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals.
Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn’t make me fat?
Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.
“So what are you doing today?”
“What the heck, you were doing nothing the whole day yesterday!”
“That’s right, and I’m not finished yet.”
Shortest joke a software developer can tell:
“I’ll be ready soon.”
I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she’s been googling my name last night on her computer. I saw it clearly through my binoculars.
In marriage, daughter runs and goes back to her room..
Mother stops her on the way and says: please do not go back, just go with your hubby.
Daughter: Please leave me, I am just going back to take my phone charger, it is gonna die!
After exercise I always eat pizza, Just kidding.. I don’t Exercise!!
What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You are just jealous of me. The reason being – I make your spouse scream louder than you!
Hope you enjoyed reading these funny short jokes.
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