Hilarious Joke of the Day | Short and Funny
Hilarious Joke of the Day is nothing but the extremely funny and causing a lot of laughter. It describes a high degree of humor and things that are funny can cause you to smile, but when something is hilarious and causes you to laugh out loud. Hilarious jokes can also be used arrogantly when something isn’t funny at all. So, here is the Hilarious Joke of the Day to make you laugh out loud.
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Laugh Out Loud
A boy met a girl, after a little conversation,the boy
wanted to leave,then he said to the girl
Boy: Sorry, I didn’t get your name.
Girl: OK. I’m Dike Sandra Thelma Vera, u can call me (DSTV) in short if you like, and you?
Boy: (I no fit carry )well, I’m Godwin Obinna Tochukwu Victor, feel free to call me(GOTV).
# Lolzzz … If it was u, what funny fake name will you give?… Mine will be Lawrince Francis Chinonso (LFC). Hw ur day?Add urs…
A church puts out a wanted ad for somebody to ring their bell each day. A man with no arms replies to the want ad. The priest asks him “How can you ring a bell with no arms?”
The man runs into the bell face first and the bell rings loud and beautifully. The priest gives him the job. One day he misses the bell though and falls to his death. The priest and several other people come to the man’s side and one of them says “Who is he?”
The priest replies “I don’t know. But his face sure rings a bell.”
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of them stops mid-swing when he sees a long funeral procession on the road by the course. He takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I’ve ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I almost died in Finding Nemo.
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Asian, one is Mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The Asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof. Next, the Mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy’s turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.
A guy tells his friend:
– During the Christmas I have left a gift for my girlfriend underneath the Chrsitmas-tree
– And… how did she liked it?
– Don’t know yet. She’s still looking for it as the forest is big, there are many Christmas-trees there…
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.
When my wife said she was leaving me because of my Monkees obsession I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
Do not to judge those who drink alone with themselves. Maybe it is an entrepreneur, working with individual performance certificate, at his company Christmas party.
My friend’s mom used to teach 8th Grade English in the local public school system. One day a student cussed her out, so she called his mom. The mom didn’t do anything about it so the kid did it again a few days later.The mom was called again and still she couldn’t care less. A few days later the boy cussed her out again, but this time the teacher called his grandmother.She immediately came to the school, dragged him by the hair to the bathroom, washed his mouth out with soap, and beat his behind. Grandma then said if he does it again then she should call her. That boy never said another swear word in that teacher’s presence again.
Two nuns were driving through a Transylvanian forest when the road was blocked by a fearsome looking vampire.
“What do we do now?” the passenger asked.
“Get out and show him your Cross,” said the nun in the driving seat.
So the nun in the passenger stepped out onto the road, wagged her finger and exclaimed: “Get out of our way, you stupid vampire.”
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Hilarious Joke of the Day
An ice cream seller was today found on the floor of his van covered in hundreds and thousands. Police said he topped himself.
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are discussing when life begins. The priests says, “It begins at conception”. The minister says, “Life begins at 24 weeks gestation”. The rabbi says, “You are both wrong, Life begins when the kids move out of the house and the dog dies.”
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
A dad joke is a painfully awful joke, that is so bad it’s actually embarrassing. These jokes were popularised by fathers, who in an attempt to be funny, failed miserably. Common in speeches, particularly of the 18th and 21st birthday variety.
The wife says “ Honey, please don’t try to speak, you are weak, what are you trying to say even? Is it that you love me? If it’s that important write it down.”
I feel like that was a such a subtle burn that I had to read it a few times to see how you meant it.
It’s To Whom.
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
In a marriage ceremony:
– Do you agree to take this woman as your wife?
– What about this one then?
A classic Tommy Cooper gag ”I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, ”How flexible are you?” I said, ”I can’t make Tuesdays”, was fifth.
Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my bum.
I’ve got some cream for that.
I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it’s also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there’s a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It’s like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me, too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”
Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so, how about that mad cow disease? Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!
A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, “What do you do to get your tomatoes red?” He replies, “Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.” The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, “How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?” “No,” she replies, “but my cucumbers are enormous.”
When I was a child, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out the police call this “identity theft.”
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