Short Joke of the Day | Best Funny Jokes
Short Jokes are nothing but the little experience that tends to make laughter and provide amusement. This also taught us that the balance of flow which controls and makes human healthier. Best Jokes can be amused, smile or laugh at something funny. So, here is the Short Joke of the Day to share with your friends.
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Short Jokes | Best Jokes
Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it’s also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there’s a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It’s like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.
A very ill guy is slowly dying and he is visiting his doctor.
He asks his doctor for a favour:
-Doctor, coud you please tell everyone i died of a HIV infection?
The doctor respond:
-Well sure i could if that’s what you wish for, but may i ask you why do you have such a strange wish?
The poor guy responds:
-If everyone thinks i died of HIV noone is ever gonna want to sleep with my wife and if anyone did he wont be able to sleep in piece!
What does a pepper do when it’s angry?
It gets jalapeño face!
Two dogs are walking along a street. They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs.
One turns to the other and says: “He started fetching a stick and built up the business from there.”
I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them.
He said, “By mistake?”
I said, “Oh come on, not you as well!”
A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”
“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name.”
I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.
Q: How do you transfer funds even faster than electronic banking?
A: By getting Married!
When my wife said she was leaving me because of my Monkees obsession I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.
Within a few minutes an airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes. The first passenger : I am Russel Westbrook, the best basketball player. The Oklahoma city..!!
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”
I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.
My son asked my how you can tell if someone is an alcoholic.
I said, “Do you see those four trees over there? Well, an alcoholic would see eight.”
My son said, “But Dad, I only see two.”
My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.
After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”
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Short Joke of the Day
Single guys often dream of having a wise, beautiful and caring wife. But married guys think about it even more often.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer!
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!”
I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?'” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”
Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!
Police arrested two kids yesterday: one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.
My wife said she was fed up with me always getting my directions mixed up.
So I packed my bags and right.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: ‘No, I’m travelling light.’
Patient: “Hello, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, help me, help me, help me! When I do something, I repeat it three times, three times, three times. I’m terribly tired, terribly tired, terribly tired. Although my wife is delighted, delighted, delighted.”
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled, “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
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