Tag : short-jokes

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Short Jokes To Laugh Out | Shortest Jokes

Short jokes: In this busy world, some people may not be interested to read a long joke, no matter how funny it is. So for that kind of people, there are many short jokes that too even in one-line to make them laugh hilariously. Here is the collection of funny jokes and Short jokes which will make you laugh out loudly. Laughing at least once in a while is something good for the physical and mental wellness of a human being. Such a precious treatment could be achieved by reading this kind of funny and hilarious jokes. Get ready to explore and laugh until you are fed up with it.

Tell Me A Joke is a fun website with full of jokes. You can find Short Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hilarious Jokes, Kids Jokes, Love Jokes, Non-Veg Jokes, One Liner Jokes and Jokes in Other Languages. Tellmeajokes.com is the best place to have fun.

Short jokes

Shortest jokes to laugh out

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”

My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?”
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me.”

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. “Och, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!”

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there’s no domestic violence going on.

What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?

He didn’t count with this…

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
It’s when the blind try to read your face.

Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely?
A. Playing Frisbee.

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

Funny and Short jokes

See also: Funny Jokes

Funny and Short Jokes for Adults

Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.

I’ve no home, I haven’t got control, I can’t see any escape. Way past the time I got a new keyboard.

What would you call a very funny mountain?
Hill Arious”

How do you tell that a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.

Doctor says to his patient:
“You have Cancer and Alzheimer.”
Patient: “At least I don’t have Cancer.”

Short jokes

Little Johnny asks his father:
“Where does the wind come from?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why do dogs bark?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why is the earth round?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does it disturb you that I ask so much?”

“No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything.”

Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish. The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted. The third guy says, “It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted.

They threw me out of the cinema today for bringing my own food. But come on – the prices are way too high, plus I haven’t had a barbecue in months.

I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.

We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was “Michael”.

“How much do the potatoes cost?”
“2.50.”
“And the bag?”
“The bag is free.”
“Ok, give me the bag.”

Dentist: “You need a crown.”

Patient: “Finally someone who understands me”

“Grandpa, why don’t you have any life insurance?”
“So you can all be really sad when I die.”

A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some and, munching, asks her why she isn’t having any herself.
“Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.”
“Why buy them at all then?” wonders the driver.
“You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

I’m certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
Woman: Yeah, sure!
Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!

Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can buy you a jet-ski. It is impossible to be sad when you’re riding on the jet-ski.

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Latest Short jokes

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Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.

What do you get if you crossbreed a sheep and a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.

What do you get when you cross-breed a cow and a shark?
I don’t know, but I wouldn’t enjoy milking it.

“Honey, why did you build the child’s bed so high?” – “We can hear it better if he falls out.”
Doctor: “Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. ”
“But doctor, I am already 80!”
“You see – I told you to quit smoking.”
‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals.
Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn’t make me fat?
Your fingernails.
Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.
“So what are you doing today?”
“Nothing.”
“What the heck, you were doing nothing the whole day yesterday!”
“That’s right, and I’m not finished yet.”
Shortest joke a software developer can tell:
“I’ll be ready soon.”
Short jokes
I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she’s been googling my name last night on her computer. I saw it clearly through my binoculars.
In marriage, daughter runs and goes back to her room..
Mother stops her on the way and says: please do not go back, just go with your hubby.
Daughter: Please leave me, I am just going back to take my phone charger, it is gonna die!
After exercise I always eat pizza, Just kidding.. I don’t Exercise!!
What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?
You are just jealous of me. The reason being – I make your spouse scream louder than you!

Hope you enjoyed reading these funny short jokes.

For more short jokes, feel free to comment below.

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Short Joke of the Day | Best Funny Jokes

Short Jokes are nothing but the little experience that tends to make laughter and provide amusement. This also taught us that the balance of flow which controls and makes human healthier. Jokes can be amused, smile or laugh at something funny. So, here is the Short Joke of the Day to share with your friends.

Short Joke of the Day

Short Joke of the Day

Tell Me A Joke is a fun website with full of jokes. You can find Short Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hilarious Jokes, Kids Jokes, Love Jokes, Non-Veg Jokes, One Liner Jokes and Jokes in Other Languages. Tellmeajokes.com is the best place to have fun.

Short Jokes | Best Jokes

Short Joke of the Day

Short Joke of the Day

Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it’s also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there’s a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It’s like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.

A very ill guy is slowly dying and he is visiting his doctor.
He asks his doctor for a favour:
-Doctor, coud you please tell everyone i died of a HIV infection?
The doctor respond:
-Well sure i could if that’s what you wish for, but may i ask you why do you have such a strange wish?
The poor guy responds:
-If everyone thinks i died of HIV noone is ever gonna want to sleep with my wife and if anyone did he wont be able to sleep in piece!

What does a pepper do when it’s angry?

It gets jalapeño face!

Two dogs are walking along a street. They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs.
One turns to the other and says: “He started fetching a stick and built up the business from there.”

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them.

He said, “By mistake?”
I said, “Oh come on, not you as well!”

A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”
“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never 
remember the name.”

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

I was in a conference last week and I think the presenter was a gay. No, not because of his colorful clothes, way of speaking, waving hands laughing habits or because he was French.. He simply had a Mac.

Q: How do you transfer funds even faster than electronic banking?
A: By getting Married!

When my wife said she was leaving me because of my Monkees obsession I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.

I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.

Within a few minutes an airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes. The first passenger : I am Russel Westbrook, the best basketball player. The Oklahoma city..!!

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”

I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.

My son asked my how you can tell if someone is an alcoholic.
I said, “Do you see those four trees over there? Well, an alcoholic would see eight.”
My son said, “But Dad, I only see two.”

My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, 
I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.
After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”

You May Also Like: Funniest Jokes

Short Joke of the Day

Short Joke of the Day

Short Joke of the Day

Single guys often dream of having a wise, beautiful and caring wife. But married guys think about it even more often.

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer!

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!”

I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say ‘or you’re history?'” The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”

Knock Knock! Who’s there?
Mikey
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!

Police arrested two kids yesterday: one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

My wife said she was fed up with me always getting my directions mixed up.
So I packed my bags and right.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. 
The photon replies: ‘No, I’m travelling light.’

Patient: “Hello, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, help me, help me, help me! When I do something, I repeat it three times, three times, three times. I’m terribly tired, terribly tired, terribly tired. Although my wife is delighted, delighted, delighted.”

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled, “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

You May Also Like: Kids Joke of the Day

Hope you enjoyed the Short Joke of the Day posted here Tell Me A Joke.

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Funny Short Jokes | One Liner Funny Jokes

Funny Short Jokes: In some situation, it’s much risk to start the interaction and make a joke about the person. Funny Short Joke is nothing but the funny story that you tell to people to make them sit and laugh at it. Some people won’t laugh at silly jokes and risky to make them laugh but some will laugh at those. So, here are the Funny Short Jokes to make everyone happy.

Funny Short Jokes

Funny Short Jokes

Tell Me A Joke is a fun website with full of jokes. You can find Short Jokes, Funny Jokes, Hilarious Jokes, Kids Jokes, Love Jokes, Non-Veg Jokes, One Liner Jokes and Jokes in Other Languages. Tellmeajokes.com is the best place to have fun.

Funny Short Jokes

Funny Short Jokes

Funny Short Jokes

They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.

Groom: People ask me why I left a bachelor to be with this girl. Well, look at her. She’s wealthy and dying..

Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”

Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets… then it hit me.

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

Interviewee: Tell me, why did you leave your previous job?”
Interviewer: The company relocated and they did not inform me where!

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality, but I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

You May Also Like: Hilarious jokes

Funny Jokes Most Hilarious

Funny Short Jokes

Funny Short Jokes

If you wet your feet your throat will reject. If you ‘wet’ your throat your feet will reject.

Teacher: Name some countries?
Australian Kid: Australia..
Teacher: That is it?
Kid: Yes.
Teacher: Aren’t Africa, UK, US, India, Singapore, Europe countries?
Kid: Nope, They are not country, they are Foreign countries..

Q: What do you call a woman who will gives head for a pair of Jimmy Choos?
A: Head Over Heels

My ESL students try so hard and are so appreciative. One student paid me the ultimate compliment when she said, “You teach English good.” Another assured me, “I will always forget you.” And a third insisted, “I thank you from the heart of my bottom.”

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel in his hat. The bartender says “Hey pirate, what’s with the paper towel?” The pirate replied “Arr, I got a bounty on me head!”

I’m starting a club to capitalize on Hipsters. its 10 dollars not to join.

My wife complained the other day that our kitchen clock almost killed her mother.
It fell seconds after where she had been sitting. That darned clock always was slow.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars.

Wars require strategy and logic.

I just saw two elementary school kids having a fist fight.
So as an adult I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance.

I didn’t sleep very good last night.
So this morning I put Monster energy drinks in my coffee… I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car.

More Funny Jokes:

Really Funny Jokes – Crazy Fun Jokes

Funny Jokes of the day

Funny One Liner Jokes

Funny Short Jokes

Funny Jokes in English

Funny Jokes in Tamil

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Funny Jokes in Punjabi

Funny Jokes in Telugu

Hope you enjoyed the Funny Short Jokes posted here Tell me a joke.

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