Tell me a joke granny
My granny is an enthusiast of funniest jokes and funny stories. So I have gathered some funny blonde jokes which she came across and you are going to enjoy Tell me a joke granny. It is going to make you scream aloud. Laughing has the lot of health benefits which you will get out of this collection of funny and hilarious jokes. Get ready to laugh and laugh until you are fed up with laughing.
“The gods too are fond of a joke.”
Can you tell me a joke granny?
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A: She can’t find the eleven.
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?” “N,” she answered.
How does it feel to tell me a joke granny?
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”
There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
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Tell me a joke granny of your style
A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
Why did the blonde put her iPad in a blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.
Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, “two to four years.”
A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, “Aw, look at the dead birdie.” The blonde looks up and says, “Where?”
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!” Confused, he replies, “Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.” After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
So I asked a blonde, “Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?” She said, “The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
Tell me a joke granny of my style
There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, “If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music.” The second blonde decides to take a wheel, “In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled.” The third blonde takes the car door, “In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!”
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
“Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?”
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out “352!”
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
“I’ll take this one,” she says proudly. “It’s the cutest!”
“Hey lady,” says the shepherd, “If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, “Woof woof!” The cop thinks it’s a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, “Meow meow!” The cop believes it’s a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, “Potato potato!”
It is cool to tell me a joke granny
A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you’ll lose at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, “That’s amazing! Did you follow my diet?” The blonde nods. “I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!”
A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire and so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!” The operator asked, “Where are you?” The blonde answered, “At my house.” The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?” The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh!”
A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, “I look fat,” and dies. The brunette says, ” I look skinny,” and dies. The blonde says, “I think…” and dies.
A blonde gets lost and calls for directions. The operator asks which cross streets she’s at. The blonde replies, “I’m on the corner of Walk and Do Not Walk.”
How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head.
A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don’t match, one is red and the other is white. Her friend sees her out and says, “You know your socks don’t match, right? You’re wearing one red sock and one white sock.” The blonde responds, “That’s so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home.”
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